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2024-03-18
Written by Alexander Hall Martin
Tops, a documentary short directed by Lindsay Perryman, delves into the lives of African American individuals who have undergone top surgery, shedding light on the complexities and nuances of this medical procedure within their community. The film offers a poignant and introspective look at identity, body positivity, and self-acceptance in the face of systemic oppression and marginalization.
The Lens of Self-Discovery: Exploring the Intimate World of African American Top Surgery Through Lindsay Perryman's Film Tops

Lindsay Perryman's latest film, Tops, is a poignant and deeply personal exploration of the intimate experience of African American individuals who have undergone top surgery. As a documentary filmmaker, Perryman has always been drawn to capturing the complexities of identity and the human condition through their lens, offering a glimpse into the lives of those often marginalized or overlooked by society. Through her work, we are given permission to peer into the private moments of her subjects, allowing us to confront our own biases and assumptions.

Tops is no exception. This intimate film takes viewers on a journey of self-discovery, as Perryman delves into the world of African American trans men who have undergone top surgery. With unwavering empathy and sensitivity, she tackles themes that are both universally relatable and uniquely specific to this community. By sharing the stories of her subjects, Perryman sheds light on the intricacies of identity formation, the societal pressures that shape our experiences, and the resilience required to thrive in a world that often seeks to erase us. As we watch these individuals navigate their bodies, minds, and emotions, we are reminded that self-discovery is a lifelong journey, one that requires patience, courage, and an unwavering commitment to authenticity.

One of the most striking aspects of Tops is its ability to capture the fluidity of identity. Perryman's subjects embody this fluidity, moving seamlessly between moments of joy and struggle, triumph and heartbreak. As they recount their experiences with top surgery – from the anxiety-ridden anticipation of the procedure itself to the euphoric rush of finally embracing their true selves – we are reminded that identity is not a fixed or linear concept. Rather, it is a dynamic, ever-evolving process, one that requires us to be constantly present and receptive to our own needs and desires.

Through her film, Perryman also highlights the critical role that community plays in shaping our experiences as African American trans men. The camaraderie and support that flows between her subjects – moments of laughter, tears, and quiet introspection – serve as a powerful counterpoint to the often-isolated nature of this journey. By centering the voices and stories of these individuals, Perryman reminds us that self-discovery is not a solo endeavor but rather a collective one, one that requires us to lean on each other for validation, comfort, and encouragement.

Furthermore, Tops offers a scathing critique of the medicalized gaze that has historically dominated our understanding of African American trans bodies. Perryman's film challenges the notion that these individuals are nothing more than specimens or case studies, stripped of their agency and autonomy by the very institutions meant to support them. Instead, we see them as whole, multidimensional beings, deserving of dignity, respect, and compassion – not just from healthcare providers but from ourselves, our communities, and society at large.

Ultimately, Tops is a testament to the power of human connection and the transformative potential of storytelling. By sharing their stories, Perryman has given voice to a community that often remains silenced or ignored. Through her film, we are reminded that self-discovery is not just an individual journey but also a collective one – a shared exploration of identity, belonging, and what it means to be human.

In the words of Perryman themselves, "my work is a documentative fantasy; their shots are a window, their subjects a mirror." This poetic description encapsulates the essence of Tops and Lindsay Perryman's oeuvre as a whole. Her films serve as portals into the private lives of her subjects, inviting us to gaze into our own reflections and confront our own biases, assumptions, and desires. As we watch these individuals navigate the complex tapestry of their experiences, we are reminded that self-discovery is an ongoing journey – one that requires us to be present, receptive, and open to the infinite possibilities of our own humanity.

Tops is a film that will linger with you long after the credits roll, its message of hope, resilience, and self-acceptance resonating deep within your soul. As you leave the theater or gaze upon the screen, take a moment to reflect on the ways in which this film has touched you – the emotions it evoked, the insights it offered, and the sense of solidarity that now simmers within your heart. For in Tops, we have been given a rare gift: a glimpse into the private world of African American trans men who have undergone top surgery, and an invitation to join them on their journey toward self-discovery, acceptance, and unapologetic living.

As we walk away from this film, let us remember that Tops is not just a documentary about top surgery but also a testament to the transformative power of empathy, compassion, and understanding. It serves as a reminder that every individual deserves to be seen, heard, and validated – particularly those who have been marginalized or erased by society. By sharing their stories, Perryman has given voice to a community that often remains silent or ignored, and in doing so, has created a space for us all to explore our own identities, desires, and humanity.
As the camera lingers on the faces of her subjects, we are reminded that self-discovery is not just about changing one's physical appearance but also about embracing one's true essence. Tops offers a poignant reminder that identity is not a fixed or linear concept – it is a dynamic, ever-evolving process that requires us to be constantly present and receptive to our own needs and desires.
Ultimately, Tops is an invitation to join the conversation, to lean in with compassion and empathy, and to offer a listening ear to those who have been marginalized or erased. It serves as a powerful reminder of the importance of community, connection, and understanding – not just for African American trans men but for all individuals seeking to navigate the complexities of identity and belonging.
As we emerge from the world of Tops, let us carry with us the lessons of empathy, compassion, and self-acceptance that Perryman has so generously shared. May their film be a beacon of hope, inspiring us to move toward a more inclusive, understanding, and compassionate world – one that honors the diversity of human experience and acknowledges the inherent worth and dignity of every individual.